Questions To Ask Your Therapist (Cheat Sheet)
What do they like about where they work?
This can be a way to get information about your therapist and their values. For example, I work from home, and I am fully virtual because this allows me more scheduling flexibility. I’ve noticed scheduling flexibility tends to be mutually beneficial for me and my clients. A therapist might like working for a certain agency because they believe in their mission or they might value the resources an agency offers such as therapy dogs or clothing drives. They may have a special connection to helping specific populations such as veterans, new moms, or children.
What are their credentials?
Having a doctorate or decades of experience does not necessarily mean a therapist is going to be the best fit for you. Therapists who are interns or are in clinical training under a supervisor often work alongside other fully licensed professionals in the same agency. This is not necessarily an indicator of anything that could compromise your therapy experience. Freshly trained therapists participate in frequent trainings and supervision and even when you work with an experienced therapist the first few sessions can feel awkward while you are building rapport. If you want to work with someone long term, you may prefer to not work with a therapist in clinical training because they may only plan on being at that practice for a shorter time. Inquiring about their credentials also includes asking about their level of experience in treating the issues you would like help with. It is also helpful to check in with logistics such as insurance and what states they are authorized to practice in.
How do they feel about diagnosis?
Diagnosis is necessary for insurance purposes. It can help us to give a name to what we are feeling and experiencing. Mental health diagnoses also have the potential to cause harm. Some disorders are more stigmatized than others. They might be used against you when applying for jobs that have a high security clearance or a life insurance policy. Discussing the pros and cons of diagnosis and any concerns you may have can help you determine your comfortability with a therapist.
How do they determine if they need to break confidentiality?
This can be a good question if you have concerns about a therapist reacting to your process appropriately. If you have a history of self-harm or suicide attempts, it is good to establish a strong rapport built around safety. It is not helpful if you feel that you can’t mention passive thoughts of self-harm out of fear that you will be mandated for a crisis evaluation. It is also not helpful to feel that you cannot vent without triggering a crisis response. For example, someone with no violent history, upset about a bad day or a fight with a loved one might say “I could just kill him!” as part of venting, but that is not the same as having homicidal tendencies. It is also good to establish a general plan should you need additional intervention so that you are not left feeling blindsided.
What are the boundaries?
It is good to know your therapist’s general availability and response time. Each therapist and each agency can be governed by different rules and regulations. In today’s world of near constant interaction, and the ever-evolving use of telehealth, it can be hard to know what crosses the line and what a reasonable expectation may be. It’s good to know about the best ways to communicate between sessions if necessary and what should be done in times of crisis. It can also be helpful to inquire about their policies regarding missed appointments and how they determine if they are a good fit for you.
How do they handle humanness?
Do you cuss? Do you rely strongly on your faith? Do you have kids who might interrupt session? Do you have an ever-changing work schedule? What do they do if you are 5 minutes late? What if you cry the entire session? While we all have accountability in our own healing, it is important that you can show up as your most authentic self without fear of judgement. It takes time to build rapport and be fully comfortable, but it can be helpful to voice any concerns you have that might cause you to hold back. This way you can get a feel for how your therapist might respond and if it might be relevant to your therapeutic goals.
How do they measure progress?
Therapy is rarely a straightforward process which means it can be hard for progress to be objectively measured. Anyone who says they can “fix” you or help you overcome your issue in a certain number of sessions is someone to be concerned about. Everyone is different with different goals. It is not uncommon to start therapy for one issue and find out that it is connected to others.
*Sometimes the vibes are just OFF and it doesn’t have anything to do with a therapist’s approach, credentials or experience. They might remind you of someone you don’t like, they might be too serious or too free spirited. The point of therapy is to feel better and for any discomfort in the therapeutic process to be aligned with the goal of feeling better. If it’s just plain uncomfortable for you to speak to this person, that is enough of a reason to seek out someone else.
Rayelle Davis is a Nationally Board Certified Counselor licensed in Maryland and West Virginia. She is an expert content reviewer for highered.com and a faculty trainer for the American Society of Addiction Medicine. Her research on the diseases of despair and Appalachia fuels her mission to build community centered around accurate and decolonized mental health education.
